Side Roads Resources There are houseboat rentals in at least 38 of the 50 states, and in 4 Canadian provinces. Boats range from 25 to 60 feet in length, and sleep from two to a dozen. Some have alternate topside controls -- "flying bridges" -- and screened "porches" -- front decks. Rental rates vary according to the location, season, duration, and boat size. Weekly (6 days/7 nights), midweek (3 days/4 nights), and weekend (2 days/3 nights and 3 days/4 nights) package options are the standard practice. Fuel is not included in most rental agreements. LP gas is. Fishing guides, who will meet your boat at predetermined locations, would also be an additional cost. Based on nationwide averages, a high season weekly rental for a 40-foot houseboat, with sleeping accommodations for four to eight people, ranges from $1,500 to $2,000. Shoulder-season rates are generally 1/2 to 3/4 that figure. Fuel for that week might cost $200, depending on your cruising/fishing/loafing schedule. Adding food, beverages, fishing licenses, and miscellaneous, a week afloat for two couples could be enjoyed for $2,500. Split three ways -- three couples -- that's a relatively inexpensive getaway. During the fall months -- my favorite -- a couple could enjoy a very private week on a smaller houseboat for as little as $1,000. The Internet is awash in houseboat rental information. Start with www.houseboat.net, which has listings for rental operators in each of the major houseboat states and provinces. This site also has informative articles on houseboat handling, what to bring, and what to expect. Many of the specific rental Web sites will link to other informative sites. For example, the Northernaire address -- www.northernaire houseboats.com -- includes links to Voyageur's National Park, fishing reports, and other resources. A "search" for "houseboat rentals" turned up more than 10,000 hits. At least the first 40 were of specific interest to anyone seeking houseboat rental information. So settle in to your computer chair, with a tall cool one, and take off that wristwatch. Might as well get into the proper no-time zone. Copyright © 1999 Jim Elder. All rights reserved.

Lost Weeks, Lost Watches, and Syrup on Your Lap by Jim Elder "…how to spot a first-timer at breakfast. That's the guy who sits on the downhill side of the table. The pancake syrup will run off his plate and onto his lap." Houseboaters do a lot of things, and swimming is near the top of the list. "We find wristwatches. In the silverware drawer." This according to a houseboat rental operator after one of my lost weeks on a Minnesota border lake. He figured people took off their watches to swim, then became so liberated from responsibility and routine that by the end of a week, they completely forgot about watches. All watches, and other left-behinds, are sent to the owners, of course. I've never forgotten my watch, but I've forgotten reality -- lost a week from the rat race -- in Minnesota, British Columbia, California, and Nevada. I hope to add Wisconsin, Iowa, and the southeast to my escape list as soon as possible. Houseboats are big and slow. Ten miles per hour is an average cruising speed. Without an expensive tracking satellite system, there is no TV on most lakes. Even radio is marginal in the more remote areas. So what do you do for a week, on a houseboat? The number-one priority might be nothing. Nothing except watch scenic shorelines slide slowly by, catch up on a good book, answer overdue letters, and soak up sun. Most houseboaters fish. By law, in most jurisdictions, houseboats must tow or carry a dinghy -- usually a small fishing boat with an outboard. You can fish from the houseboat, but to work shallow shorelines and small bays, the dinghy is a better choice. All houseboaters eat. The menu can be fresh-caught fish or steaks brought along. Houseboats have complete kitchens, some even with microwave ovens, and charcoal grills. Hot and cold running water, full bathrooms with showers, even air conditioners are common amenities. Waterslides and boarding ladders are on many boats. Traditionally, rental operators furnish so much equipment that you could arrive with only your toothbrush, suntan and bug juice, fishing license and tackle, swimsuit and towel, and a credit card. When making a reservation -- highly recommended, many operators book solid during the summer and fall months -- check with the operator to determine what is furnished, and what you should bring. More common sense than skill is needed to pilot a houseboat. Because of the size and weight, turns and stops must be anticipated. Handling in crosswinds will require attention to a heading. Prudence suggests tying up to shore in a strong squall. But "driving" a houseboat is easier, and safer, than driving a big motorhome. Operators supply charts, and sometimes two-way radios. GPS might even be furnished, or you could bring your own receiver. In the Northwoods country, and in the Southeast, fishing is the most common endeavor for houseboat renters. Rainy Lake, on the Minnesota-Ontario border, offers great fishing for walleye, crappie, and smallmouth bass. Rainy Lake is also the home of the oldest rental company in North America, Northernaire Houseboats. It was founded in 1958. It was also my first houseboat escape. I hooked some nice fish there, and got hooked on houseboating. Rainy Lake offers more than fishing. An all-day 73-mile cruise ends up at the historic Kettle Falls Hotel, reachable only by water, air, or on foot. This old building has seen boom and bust from logging, mining, and bootlegging. It now thrives on folks who fish and vacationers. The eight rooms are usually full all summer, but houseboaters are welcome at the dock, and in the bar and dining room. The building has been slowly conforming to the rocky isthmus on which it stands. One building, undivided, but graciously sagging. The only level surface in the hotel is the pool table, and that is made level by extensive blocking under five of the six legs. A running joke at Kettle Falls is how to spot a first-timer at breakfast. That's the guy who sits on the downhill side of the table. The pancake syrup will run off his plate and onto his lap. Smaller boats can be portaged at Kettle Falls, to Kabetogama, Namakan, and Crane Lakes. Kettle Falls can also be reached via Namakan and Kabetogama from Crane Lake, where houseboat rentals are available. From Rainy Lake, boaters can explore remote bays in Canada, but serious fishermen have of late avoided crossing the border because of complicated fishing regulations in Ontario. The locals call it the "fish wars," and are content with the Minnesota fishing. Usually all you can eat. If you hit the right weekend, Rainy Lake will feature a most unusual sailboat race. Whereas most sailboat racers trim for speed, and take their competition quite seriously, the annual Rainy Lake Regatta is anything but serious. Sailors, mostly from International Falls, load their boats with family, friends, coolers, food, charcoal grills, fishing tackle, boom boxes, and whatever else will fit aboard. The start, signaled by a 12-gauge shotgun blast, sends the fleet eastward from International Falls for an all-day run to Kettle Falls. There are no buoys, no marks, no timers or judges, no rules. First one to the Kettle Falls dock wins. One year, one boat was so far ahead of the scattered fleet that the skipper swung over into Black Bay for a walleye fishing session. When he saw other boats passing the mouth of the bay, he put away his tackle, hoisted sail, and set out to catch the front-runners. The "race" finishes with on-board and dockside cookouts, dancing, billiards, and general celebrations in the hotel bar. The next day, sleepy inland sailors beat upwind back to International Falls. Some have been known to take a tow from a friendly houseboat skipper. Houseboats make great venues for families, parties, family reunions, and even corporate retreats. The latter, while effective in isolating executives from daily routine, phone interruptions, and general office pressures, is somehow a violation of the houseboating spirit. Ideally, a houseboat vacationer would leave the cell phone at home, use the two-way radio only for emergencies, and hide the TV clicker, if a TV were aboard. Fishing, and a refreshing swim, should be the only distractions. Sunrises and sunsets on lakes are almost always spectacular. Privacy and solitude are priceless. Sparking lakes are calming, yet inspiring. That's why people pay for waterfront property by the foot instead of the acre. With a houseboat, you have waterfront property all day. And all night, while you are securely tied up to a wooded shore. In the North country, loons serenade houseboaters. It's probably just as well that the boat you rented is booked for the following week. Otherwise, you might be tempted to extend, and again extend, that wonderfully lost week. When you do return to the real world, don't forget your wristwatch. Copyright © 1999 Jim Elder. All rights reserved.